There’s so much to like about ‘The Sims 3 – Pets’…that it’s a bit painful to write this review. Painful, knowing full well that this is a ridiculously good game, albeit almost little reason to purchase it on the PS3.
To explain, ‘The Sims 3 – Pets’ (S3P) is more aptly named ‘It’s Raining Dogs and Cats on my Sony Console’ as these are the only two pet species available to play with. And they’re friggin’ everywhere. There’s dogs and cats roaming the gym. Library. Strays en masse in the park. They won’t leave me the f alone downtown. Someone call Animal Control, pronto.
Problem is, Appaloosa Plains – where all the magic and infestation happens – is devoid of any other species, at all. It’s as if the aliens came…and knowing humans are obsessed with their dogs and cats…wiped out every other species on the planet to create highest-level distraction. I blame Facebook completely for hatching this evil plan. Enough about your damn pets, people. Babies, a close second.
The sad part of this evil plot is that the PC is bursting with exotic pets and horses but a download pack – the same game, mind you - away. In contract, my dreams of Mr. Tinkles, the naughty horse with an ambition in politics, were quickly dispatched. Ditto unleashing Princess Scales, a friendly but insatiably hungry, giant python with an affinity for eating shopping mall residents. Damn you, PS3. You too, Kirk and Khan.
Instead, I’m left with the dogs and cats the aliens left behind…even if this lesser option ‘aint bupkus. There’s oodles of pet customization an x button click away, to include dozens of breeds, personaliies, even coat length and pattern snippety-snip. Also – and thankfully – these pets really do behave like actual dogs and cats versus 1990’s Macaulay Culkin pretending to be a kid in failed horror movies.
My creature of preference was Invercargill Gonzales, an angry but witty dingo with an obscure dalmation pattern marking. A spirit of a warrior clearly lied beneath that shaggy, and spotted exterior. Invercargill learned tricks, became far too obsessed with neighborhood park go’ers, and tore up furniture. Still she was my dingo, until Fancy Friar came along.
See, Fancy Friar was a pain in the ass. The little bastard showed up unannounced at a local park, quickly became obsessed with Mrs. Gonzales. Worse yet, I felt sorry for the pampered yet kind, miniature thing…and began to play with him. Secretly, however, I longed for Invercargill to eat him in one fell swoop. Dingo eating baby references are now appropriate.
Worst yet, Fancy Friar – almost by aforementioned aliens’ best-laid plans – came home with me. I tried ignoring him, stating the playful obvious in committing time to everyone’s favorite dingo only metres away. The damn thing wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. It sauntered into my townhouse, tore up a lounge room chair, and then proceeded to poo in the middle of the room. I’m convinced Invecargill mocked me wholeheartedly, despite obvious and multiple efforts to remove this diminutive but overly persistent monster from my abode.
My abode, mind you, was Canberra-esque. Barely big enough for two people, clearly overpriced based on seemingly good location, and built like crap. But it was home, and the only thing I could afford with the starting money S3P provided. I didn’t want some over-effeminate poodle raining on my S3P, Capital City dream. It was grandly Spartan but furnished. (As best as an auto-furnish option for only a few grand can provided.)
Therefore and while The Sims 3: Pets skimps on, well, what the heck it’s actually entitled, make no bones about it: this is a full featured, sharp looking version of The Sims. Sims characters, cats/dogs, houses, and every subtlest of nuance can be customized for the truly dedicated among us. It’s admittedly been several years since my last foray into this franchise, and – wow! - the baby is so grown up. it’s going to take Peter, Egon, Winston and Ray to take it down. And that little DualShock is your keymaster.
Ergo, S3P is the full main course of The Sims 3, albeit its pet entrée’ a bit devoid of flavour in this specific restaurant. I’m impressed what Electronic Arts packed onto a lone BluRay disc, also a menu interface that aspires toward greatness but struggles under the hefty weight of too many sustained loading periods plus analog stick finickiness. Part of me debated – for a lone instance – the merits of S3P being Move controlled. That delusion of grandeur quickly dissipated after realizing how damn impossible it to get around the PS3 XMB with precision…let alone run the lives of two people and their dingo. And the stepson poodle that fate thrust upon us all.
With this being said, there are some among us with but lesser laptops (as I look in the mirror) and where gaming is isolated to consoles alone. If you’re one these individuals…plus have an interest in a return or initial visit to The Sims franchise, S3P for the PS3 is not a bad place to visit. The game packs a whallop in things to explore, with dogs and cats – at the end of the day – an omnipresent but actually small component of the experience that The Sims 3: Pets provides. For the cat and dog obsessives (and non-dander allergic) among us, however, this small component may be exponentially greater in draw. Those who purchase – and stick with – S3P, literally have hundreds of hours of waiting gameplay to explore. I may not be happy with the restaurant, but it’s clear the owner has good intentions.
In closing this review, it’s difficult to recommend a game knowing there’s vastly superior options…of the same darn title…sitting on the shelf next to it, available on alternate platforms. For PS3 only folks, however, looking to get their Sims on, Appaloosa City is a good place to be. Make sure to kick Fancy Friar for me.
